Truth be told, I had no intention of sharing this post. I had all of these plans to re-do our fireplace and mantle, to fill the empty hearth with something beautiful and photo-worthy; but lately, I’ve put so many things on hold because they’re unfinished, or unready, or just not quite there. All of those things are far from perfect.
I had a baby seven months ago – our third daughter – and in some ways, this has been the most difficult transition yet. Taking care of a new baby has in many ways, been easier; she’s quite possibly our easiest baby yet. (Or perhaps by baby number three, we’ve got the hang of this whole parenting thing.)
It’s the juggle of three that’s completely sucked up all of my time.
Learning the balance of three small children to care for, to be mindful of, to plan and schedule for, to feed and bathe and nurture.
It’s the school schedules and ballet schedules and swim and Sunday school and lunches and snacks and nap schedules and remembering what days I return the washed blanket and pillow, and the teacher gifts, and the room parent e-mails, and the well visits and the sick visits, and the upcoming birthday parties and the gifts to order and wrap and bring, and the remembering to shower, sorting summer clothes that no longer fit and ordering sweaters because our oldest is growing like a weed, the high holidays and the back-to-school events and the wanting to be present at everything.
It’s my own job; forcing myself to find time to write and publish and share, and to get back to what I love, even if it feels exhausting and overwhelming, and I can’t help but wonder how I ever donned high heels and fitted skirts and negotiated my way through mediations and court hearings and cross depositions.
The days are a blur, our house is a mess, everywhere I look there are piles; piles of laundry to sort and fold and put away, and piles of mail and school papers and neighborhood invites that I promise, promise, promise I’m going to get through, and piles of sneakers and sandals that no longer fit the kids feet and need to be put away for the next seven year old and five year old, and piles of vegetables to cook to make dinner that maybe, just maybe, everyone will eat without protest.
It’s beautiful and magical and exhausting; but the mess gives me pause, and more often than not I don’t share because it’s not ready. It’s never ready. It’s the far from perfect moments that I don’t share because I compare to the more perfect presented online and think I could do better or be better or simply hide away the mess.
But that’s not reality; at least not for most of us.
A Far From Perfect Blue and White Fall Mantle
So today, I’ll share. Because the blue and white mantle of my early fall dreams is bringing me joy, and the pumpkin-scented candle is glowing in my kitchen, and it feels crisp and cool outside and I’m immensely happy for fall, a baby now sleeping through the night, and getting back into the school routine which offers structure and security and some semblance of peace.
And just like that, I wrote today. I took photos today. I’ll link and publish and get back to doing what fills me up; even if it’s done between the chaos, and it’s nowhere near perfect.
SHOP THE BLUE AND WHITE FALL MANTLE DESIGN | CLICK LEFT & RIGHT ARROWS TO EXPLORE
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