Forget the resolutions, this year I’m focusing on being happier in the new year …
Every year, despite promising myself that I won’t set such high expectations, I make lofty unspoken goals for myself; and you guessed it: I can’t ever seem to keep those goals. Typically, resolutions like the ever-present “lose weight” or “don’t let things I can’t control upset me” slip out of my grasp as time flies on. Because life gets in the way. The real world happens. My daughter grows older, marriage takes work, my business grows, and all the while, the hours are short. And then those resolutions, the resolutions I laid out with such good intentions, they hang heavily on my head and weigh down my heart. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Call it a New Year’s resolution of sorts, but this year, I’m vowing to put myself first; you know, after I take care of my family and business, of course. But I can be happy too. I usually am. Sometimes I’m annoyingly happy. But the unnecessary expectations I place on myself; those I don’t need. The stress I feel when I’m striving for perfection; yeah, I don’t need that either. So I’m laying out the 5 ways I plan to be happier in the new year, and I think you should too!
5 WAYS TO BE HAPPIER IN THE NEW YEAR
- Work smarter, not harder. THIS. I’m not good at letting go, so this year, I’m calling it outsourcing. Recently I’ve realized that it’s not only okay to let people be experts in their fields, it’s smart business. A few months ago I hired a photographer, and I’m just beginning to get help with social media as well, and I’m already seeing results on both fronts. I CAN’T BE EVERYTHING ALL OF THE TIME. I’m a mom, a wife, a business owner, a blogger, writer, and lawyer, but under the umbrella of a blog, I’ve also had to become a photographer, editor, graphic designer, SEO expert, marketing guru, assistant, the list goes on and on, and as it goes on, I become less great. In fact, at some point last year I started to feel like I was failing at everything just trying to BE it all, and who does that help? Trust me when I say, absolutely no one. So I’m letting go a little and trusting the experts in their fields. I know money will be tight at first as I try to adjust and accommodate for the help, but my hope is that with the right help, this little blog of mine will continue to grow. (Can you believe it’s been 7 years?!) Here’s to hoping I can start adding and growing even more!
- Soak up the success. When something good happens, it’s worth celebrating. From the smallest most insignificant wins to the big, amazing moments, celebrating is what makes the moments so worthwhile. Made it out the door with kid and all seven packages for the post office in record time; I’m going to Starbucks because I earned it. Hit my highest pageviews ever because a pin went viral on Pinterest; doing the funky chicken dance and then convincing hubby to take us to dinner to celebrate the occasion. You name it, I’m cheering myself on.
- Stop calling myself “fat.” That word sucks. I have a beautiful little girl, the newly minted stretch marks and soft skin I loathe – they held her body as she grew and will continue to hold her – and if I can’t love myself, how can I expect her to love herself? How can I possibly raise a strong, secure, beautiful woman, if all she ever hears is her own mother breaking herself down? It’s ugly and sad, and I’m going to try to be better, to love myself better. If loving myself means taking a yoga or barre class or going for a walk, great, and if it means taking a much-needed couch day with my little one, that’s great too. But I won’t berate myself because I didn’t exercise. I’ll build myself up and try again the next day. I’ll also accept my husband’s compliments. When he says I look beautiful, that’s just it, I look beautiful, to him, and that’s what matters.
- Kick comparison to the curb. You are enough. I am enough. Perfection is exhausting. And a myth. I’m not saying I’ll get it right every time. I may still find myself comparing. Especially in the creative industry, it’s so hard not to compare what you’re doing to what your peers are doing; but I sure am going to try.
- See the good first. I want to be better about approaching situations with positivity in mind. (Typically I walk into things with anxiety, nervous about the response, and most of the time, it’s unwarranted and I’ve only worked myself up for no reason. ) There is good in there, in everyone, in every situation. I will try not to judge unfairly, or presume without understanding. I will try to enter each new beginning with an open mind. That’s how we continue to make strides.
So forget the resolutions, and tell me how you plan to be happier in the new year! Leave me a comment or say hi on on instagram, facebook, twitter, and snapchat → glitterinclexi, and let me know about your wins. I wanna hear the good stuff!
Photos by Annie Watts Photography
Amelie says
This is such a great post! And I totally agree with the “stop calling ourselves fat” part. I’ve personally had self-confidence issues for as long as I can remember, and I know my mom has too. It has probably made an impact on how I view myself, even if I’m trying to let go of that and see further than the numbers. We need to start embracing who we are!
Sarah says
I loved this post! I’m a New Years junkie. I love all the excitement and good intentions and yes fad cleanses to detox the holiday bloat away. But I loved your spin on how to be happier because in the end we hope the resolution gets us happier so why not start with happy first! Thank you for inspiration.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I never make goals, but always think of some lovely intentions to keep in my mind!
Amanda John says
Everyone needs to read this post! Especially numbers 3-5 xo
XO Strawberry Chic
Lauryn Hock says
These are fantastic goals! I love that you want to work smarter and treat yourself better by saying kinder things.
xo,
Lauryn
http://www.lauryncakes.com
Nicole Leffew says
I love these! Yes don’t ever call yourself fat. I need to stop comparing myself to others!
ashley zeal says
These are great tips! Here’s to new beginnings!!
Alicia Chew says
These are all such amazing points! I am also all about working smarter, not harder this season as well; I’ve outsourced some legal things for the blog and it’s been such a gamechanger! Happy New Year!
xo, Alicia | AliciaTenise.com
Laura Beverlin says
This is such a great post and some really good reminders to take into the new year!
xo,
Laura
Styled Adventures
Dylan says
This is great, happiness is a great thing to strive for in everything. Happy New Year!
Dylan
http://www.lifebydylan.com
Lauren Morgan says
Your ways to be happier are all so great! #1 especially resonates with me. I try to do it ALL and be PERFECT too often. Definitely need to take your advice!
Cheers to 2017!
Xo, Lauren
https://www.aloprofile.com/
Bella says
These are great goals!!! Happiness is key. cant wait for 2017.
Krista Williams says
Stop calling myself “fat.” That word sucks. I have a beautiful little girl, the newly minted stretch marks and soft skin I loathe – they held her body as she grew and will continue to hold her – and if I can’t love myself, how can I expect her to love herself? How can I possibly raise a strong, secure, beautiful woman, if all she ever hears is her own mother breaking herself down? It’s ugly and sad, and I’m going to try to be better, to love myself better. If loving myself means taking a yoga or barre class or going for a walk, great, and if it means taking a much-needed couch day with my little one, that’s great too. But I won’t berate myself because I didn’t exercise. I’ll build myself up and try again the next day. I’ll also accept my husband’s compliments. When he says I look beautiful, that’s just it, I look beautiful, to him, and that’s what matters.
That girl – is everything. I love so much!!! I feel the same, thank you thank you for sharing!! xoxo
Krista
http://www.hundredblog.com
Lavenda Memory says
Fabulous goals babe! I’ll take my cues from you this year!
Maggie says
I’m so in love with this!! Your words about self love is the best 🙂
http://www.maggiealamode.com
Kasey says
This is such a great post! I love your last one: See the good first. It’s so much worse going into things with anxiety, you are so right!
Mel says
Omg, comparisons are the worst! It’s something I am trying to work on! Happy New Year!!
Mel | http://www.thegossipdarling.com
Kayleigh says
i love all of these goals! These are all a great way to start your new year off on a positive note
http://www.kayleighskloset.com
Mariam says
I hope 2017 is going to be amazing for you! Happy New Year!
Mariam | http://www.thepetitebijou.com
Stephanie says
I’m in love with this! great post and hope you have a great year!
xO – Steph
http://www.urbanblonde.com
Nina says
Comparison is definitely the hardest especially in social media. But I always tell myself, you never know what someone is really going through that they don’t post on social media, so don’t compare yourselves to them, just be happy with yourself!
Comparison is the thief of joy!
Xo, Nina
Law of Fashion Blog
Audrey stowe says
This was an amazing post that I really needed to read. ‘Kick Comparison to the curb’ is a huge one I’m trying to do as well. Thanks for sharing these!
Maggie says
These tips were really helpful! I too put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed and do everything, and I need to allow myself to celebrate my success. Thanks for posting!
Maggie // http://www.blushandblooms.com
Sara says
Loved all of these way to be happier!
Sara says
Love all the ways you plan to be happier!
Living in Color says
Aw, these are great tips, lady! Thanks for sharing! <3
xoxo, L
livingincolorblog.com
maria says
i love these tips girl!
Brooke says
Love everything you wrote in this post…they speak to me as well. I love your comments about approaching things with a positive outlook versus thinking negatively upfront. Thanks for sharing.