You should picture me bouncing up and down right now … I am SO excited to announce that I WON the Rimmel London Blogger Contest! I’ve been near-bursting with the news and I am thrilled to finally make the big announcement on my little blog. I don’t know how to thank you all enough for supporting me, re-tweeting, re-posting, and voting! You all are phenomenal. Phenomenal, I tell you!
Here’s where it gets awesome: I won an amazing deal with Rimmel (a dream company!), and Rimmel is sending me and hubby to London. Yes, London. Cue second round of squealing and bouncing. And I promise to take so many pictures you’re guaranteed to get sick of me posting them. You’re welcome.
But aside from all of that, here’s why it’s such a big deal for me … (Warning: getting way personal ahead.)
Last year I battled cancer. It’s not something I talk about much here on the blog, and I’m not sure why. I think I was being fiercely protective … of what I’m not sure. Two operations later, the thing that scarred me more than the fear, sadly, was the actual scar. I know that sounds silly, but hear me out. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. After two surgeries I was branded with a neat slice across my neck. I’ve always been incredibly fair-skinned, and a bit self-conscious. I don’t mean to undermine what I went through. Trust me, sitting there in that office, after the first surgery that shook me in a big way, hearing the surgeon tell me, “Lexi, we found cancer,” I thought I might lose it. But I never really did. I put on a brave face for a long time. I told everyone I was going to be just fine, I laughed about it; “cancer schmancer” I proudly announced, mostly to make everyone around me feel less guilty and helpless. Even though, truth was, I felt unbelievably helpless. And here’s the thing, I never felt like I battled anything. I wanted to slay the cancer dragon. But I was never given much choice. It was surgery, surgery, treatment, blood work. So much blood work. And it sucked, and it was awful, and every scan and blood work and check-up to date terrifies me, but I am okay. (I promise!)
Then there was the matter of this darned scar. I suddenly loathed pictures. I wore scarves like it was my job. I could feel people staring at my neck in line at the supermarket, out to dinner, in department stores under that hideous lighting they all insist on using. I decided I’d never be one of those bloggers who paraded her image across a blog. It felt like a free pass. I was already a bit shy, and re-directing my blog into the “Lifestyle” category kept me in the clear of typical fashion blog opportunities. But my media company had other plans in mind for me. (By the way, thanks, Glam. I love you all!) And suddenly, I was getting offers. So I took pictures of my shoes, of my wrists, of my hair. And then this Rimmel opportunity came along and I thought, “Lexi, how can you pass up this opportunity? Besides, you’ll never make it to the final ten, so who cares?”
I made it to the final ten. And then the final five. And suddenly I was being asked to take hundreds of photos of myself, makeup included. I begged my younger sister, who happens to be an amazing photographer, to help me. To try somehow, to hide this stupid scar and fix me and my self-esteem (that was currently residing on the floor.) I’d send pictures and Rimmel would ask for close-ups. I was terrified. But my sister wasn’t having it. She urged me to smile, to look forward, to do the chicken dance. I wore a tutu, a lot of sparkly Rimmel lip gloss, and I spun on the docks at a popular pier in Miami and I got over it. And getting over it felt so good.
I know I’m getting obnoxiously sentimental here, but you know what: who cares? Thank you, Rowan – you’re the most ridiculously awesome sister a girl could ever ask her; I love you like a fat kid loves cake. No … more. Thank you hubby, for loving me SO much and for thinking that I’m insanely hot all of the time, even though you’re so wrong (my glasses-pajamas-frizzy-hair look is anything but hot.) Mom, Daddy, Sam, Lou, Grandma, both Uncle Iras, Aunt Sheree, and the rest of my crazy huge family: without bursting into tears as I type this, you all are the best. You’ve always supported me, always. Briana (1638 training prepared me for this), Isabel, Andy, Stacy, Danielle and all of my awesome blogging bff’s (Alyson, Hallie, Elizabeth, Sarah, Joelle, Niki, and SO many more) thanks for convincing me to work it!
To all of my friends and family who voted, for all of the times I saw another friend (generally of the male persuasion), who knew nothing about a popular beauty brand like Rimmel, LIKE the Rimmel page just to vote for me, I am so eternally grateful. Thank you for getting me and supporting this crazy blogging habit of mine.
And the moral of the story: Be strong. Be brave. Be fierce. Do you. Cry when you need to. Feel sorry for yourself (it’s normal and healthy), but then move on. Get it out and then start again. Smile. Laugh. Wear tutus (they’re essential.) Find people to love and who love you right back. And love like crazy.
Thank you (and I love you!)
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You so deserve it and I am so happy for you! I hope you continue to find the confidence to shine through the insecurities and share that beauty you obviously possess! 🙂 x
Thank you so much, Anna! Working on it. 🙂
Congrats girl! I’m so excited for you!
Thanks so being so honest and open. Your story is such an inspiration! Can’t wait to see whats ahead!
Thank you, Sarah! I was nervous to post it, but so glad now that I did!
Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself in this post! First of all, congratulations! That’s so exciting.
You probably don’t remember this, but we briefly met at FABB last fall. And I have to say, I never noticed your scar. And as cheesy as this will sound, I DO remember your sweater, and that you seemed incredibly smart and driven. I know that that doesn’t make your scar go away or you feel better about it, and I’ve been reading your blog since then because I love your writing and content! I’m so excited that you won the contest, and I hope you have a wonderful trip- couldn’t have happened to a better blogger!
I was so, so excited when I heard that you won! Like I said in my tweet, it was a win that was totally deserved…and that was before I read this post. One of the reasons you have quickly become one of my favorite bloggers is that you’re real. No matter how successful you become, I have a feeling you’ll still respond to my word nerd tweets with a smiley 🙂 It’s obvious that you blog because you truly love it, and the fact that you overcame your self-consciousness is further proof. On that topic, thank you SO much for sharing this story. Confidence is an uphill battle for me, and blogging definitely adds extra pressure. This comment was not nearly as coherent as I was hoping lol, but the bottom line is: I’m so excited for you! You’re awesome! And, we absolutely have to meet in person some day soon! Big hugs from NYC xo
I am SO PROUD of you! You are an example to women of all ages and I am so happy I found your blog. I look forward to checking out all of the pictures of Jolly Ol’ London, but more importantly, I look forward to very soon meeting you in person and nurturing our friendship from cyber fellow bloggers to good lifelong friends! Thanks for sharing this — xx Jes
And we plan on watching your every move! Please post pics until you are tired of posting! Congrats, you deserve it as an amazing blogger…
So, so excited for you. You honestly only deserve the best things. You’re smart and so kind, and I never noticed your scar. I know what you mean though about feeling like it’s out there and that’s all people see. I think people see all sorts of crazy things in me from being sick but most of them are so subtle or, hell, on the inside that only I know! Congratulations again on something so well deserved and thank you for the shout out. Love you, bloggie bff!
Of course you won!! Bless you girl!! Have the time of your life, you and yours deserve it!!
Smooches all around!!
Jocelyn
Congratulations!! And thanks for sharing such an inspiring story! xx
TEARS! So proud of you…always kicking things up a notch, giving your 110%, working like a robot but remaining truly yourself, and still always having time for family and (even silly) friends. Like Beyonce said, you’re beautiful, talented and show so much class. Go shower London with glitter…and pearls.
EEK!! So so so so proud of you – you are gorgeous and those photos and this blog only show your gorgeousness and fabulousness and overall amazingness to everyone else. <3 YOU!
I’m so proud of you–I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more. I can’t wait to hear about all the amazing opportunities that come your way, and of course your incredible trip to London. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Congratulations, Lexi… this is amazing! And thank you for sharing your story… I had no idea! So happy for you.
Congratulations Lexi! I’m so proud of and for you. My mom has been dealing with a brain tumor for quite a while and I know how much you must’ve been tested and put through. London is a great reward for being such an amazing woman!
xoxo,
Chelsea & The City
oh wao!! Congratulations! This is so BIG and exciting!
What a great story – thanks for sharing! Amazing opportunity – congratulations and enjoy!
wow, congrats! This is such an amazing opportunity for you and I really wish you more success in the future. So happy for you!! xo
Congratulations Lexi! This post is truly amazing – I am beyond inspired by you and your journey. You are beautiful inside and out!!
This is so well deserved and I am so incredibly excited for you!!
What an incredible triumph–I’m so glad this competition opened you up, and that might be the best prize on Earth! You know, after a trip to London, of course.
Love you Lexi! I’m so glad to read your story (and that you won!) I voted for you 🙂
Sara
congratulations! you sooo deserve it!
Wow. what a touching story! I’m so glad you won the trip to London! Have a wonderful time!
Lexi, all I can say is I love you so much and can’t express enough how proud of you I am!
Daddy
Congratulations Lexi! This is a huge accomplishment, not only professionally, but personally. I hope you know how much we all appreciate you putting yourself out there, even if it terrifies you. You’re such an inspiration, and I can’t wait to see what fun things are in store for you! xoxox
I am so glad you won the contest. I didn’t see all the entries, but I knew you put a lot of effort into the project. And now I read this post and it touched me and filled me with gratitude in many ways. Thank you for sharing your story and being an example for everyone who is dealing with a small or big challenge.
Oh my gosh Lexi I had no idea! How brave you are, so inspiring. Congratulations, you deserve this and are going to have the BEST time! xox
You’re such an inspiration and I’m so glad to have you in my life. Way to kick cancer in the pants! There are plenty of people who would have completely shut down when something like this came along but you thrived. You’re amazing and I’m stoked for this exciting new chapter in your life.
I love you! (And thank you!)
Lexi – you are a strong and brave woman. Congratulations to you for the win – you worked hard and it’s time to reap the rewards! You are wonderful and I hope there are many more successes in your future!
A. I’ve met you and didn’t even notice your scar! (My hubby has a neck scar too from spine surgery).
B. WHOA. That is so scary.
C. WOW. You are amazing!
Thank you so much, Meg! I think it’s probably more a self-conscious thing at this point. 🙂
I just found your blog today, via searching for bloggers that are sharing their picks for the Shopbop F&F sale today..
Of course I got to poking around, ‘About’ you and then onto some more personal posts you share on that page… and then this, and WHOA.
First, the way you write is awesome, it was comedic, sweet and relateable (“…that was currently residing on the floor.)”. I don’t know what to say about the actual situation, other than how brave you have been and what a crazy rollercoaster you have been on during this thing called life.
I know this is from a year ago, but I had to comment here. Secondly, congratulations on the contest and going to London–that must have been AMAZING (still have to dig deeper to find those posts 😉
Keep on keepin’ on & congrats on the baby bump!! July 2014! WOOHOO!! It will be here before you know it! <3
Thank you SO SO much! You completely made my day!
I am so glad I found your blog and thank you for sharing your story! I, too, am a thyroid cancer survivor. I was diagnosed in 2013 at the age of 26. Reading your words just brought me back to when I received my own diagnosis. Fortunately, after a successful surgery, and two years of follow up visits and blood work, like you, I am a survivor. The scar on my neck serves only as a reminder that I am stronger than what tried to hurt me. I wish you continued health and success!
Vanessa
http://www.livinginsteil.com