I want to take a minute, or five, to break from the holiday cheer (and addictive shopping) to ask a question: How often do you call yourself the “f” word? And by that, I mean, how often do you fat shame yourself? And why do we do that? With all of these holiday parties and baking and photos and fashion and new year’s expectations, I think my “f” bombs are worse than ever. I make jokes about being fat or chubby. I’ve called myself a whale, a cow, a heffer, and I am none of the above. I deride my cankles, my chubby knees, my hips, on a really bad day I’d swear my ears were fat. Mostly, I am just crazy. Clearly.
My husband and I talked about this horrible condition girls today have, and his take: it’s a defense mechanism. We diffuse the situation, by blurting out that we already know we look terrible, in our minds, clearing the air, and preventing anyone else from judging us harshly (though they wouldn’t; it’s us. We’re too hard on ourselves. Way too hard.) Remember that scene in Pitch Perfect …
Chloe: What’s your name?
Fat Amy: Fat Amy.
Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?
Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don’t do it behind my back.
Is that what we think? That everyone is secretly judging us, and our only defense is to throw ourselves under the metaphorical bus?
Is it the images we’re inundated with? There is no doubt about it: Hollywood is getting thinner. So much thinner. Kim Kardashian was wrecked throughout her pregnancy because she was convinced that she was fat, and tabloids blew up her images and insisted she was fat, so mere months after giving birth, and much starvation that I can only imagine was involved, she’s in a bikini with a professional photographer to re-claim her thin-ness. And Kim doesn’t weigh under 100 pounds like most of Hollywood. Actresses are literally disappearing before our eyes. Google Anne Hathaway, Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock, Kate Bosworth, Jennifer Aniston, Leann Rimes, Kate Hudson, ten years ago – they were all a healthy fifteen to twenty pounds heavier – and my guess is, they loathe those old photos. Don’t get me wrong, I adore these actresses on the Silver Screen, and I can’t imagine the kind of pressure they’re under. But is part of that pressure keeping with the new “thin” trend? Are we, as women, making things so much harder on ourselves, by being more and more critical?
And is that why, when we should be feeling strong and confident and beautiful, we tear through our closets miserable at the choices, and proclaim ourselves “fat”? And are we setting an awful example for our sisters and future daughters? I pick at myself all of the time, and I watch my teenaged sister do the same. Only she’s more critical, and it pains me to hear her scorn herself to no avail.
According to Special K‘s latest campaign, 93% of women engage in “fat talk”, calling themselves, or parts of themselves, fat. Isn’t the way to breaking the cycle, by starting with ourselves? Fat Talk is contagious – and it’s weighing women down. Special K has partnered with world-renowned supermodel and actress Tyra Banks to help shift the conversation to a more positive one. Visit www.FightFatTalk.com to help SHHHHut down Fat Talk (#FightFatTalk). And feel free to throw virtual water balloons at me the next time I complain about my thighs.
By the way, the statistics …
Image via Park & Cube
This post is sponsored by Special K. Thank you so much for supporting the sponsors that make Glitter, Inc. possible!
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I have a 2 year old little girl and one on the way and I now try to be conscious of this, I did not realize how much I do it until I had to be an example for my daughter.
It’s sad that we always seem to bring ourselves down – I’m lucky to have grown up with great parents who taught me that it’s the person you are that matters, and nothing else. They inspired me to want to be like them, I don’t see the need to look up to photoshoped celebrities. 🙂
Away From The Blue
Just stumbled upon this post from Glossy Blonde’s Link Love… but I’m right there with you.
Back in high school, I weighed a cool 113 and thought I was obese. I remember looking at pictures of old school B. Spears and being angry that my six pac wasn’t “as defined” as hers. Now, I’m 27 and 113 will never happen again… nor should it. I’m an adult that works 40+ hours a week and maintains a busy life. Yes, I try to work out weekly and eat healthy, but “health” is what is important… not what the scale says.
Recently, my husband Adam (who blogs with me) was watching TV when a commercial aired for the annual VS fashion show. He looked at me and said, “Why do people find that pretty? Those women don’t look like real women. Their breasts are their only curves. It’s just not attractive to me to be so skinny.” I wanted to hug him forever… but he is right! I think about what those models must do to look like that and I know that I couldn’t do the same — partly because I am a real person with a job that doesn’t give me food and gym-time requirements but also partly because I just don’t have those genetics.
And that’s ok. It’s ok that I’m not a size 2 so long as I am happy and healthy. And with a husband who thinks that VS models aren’t very pretty — I think I have that first one covered!
Thanks soooo much for sharing this post. And sorry for the longest comment ever.
-Kate
http://www.theflorkens.com
This is the best comment ever! And my hubby is exactly the same – he has zero interest in actresses and models who are all bones (he also thinks I’m perfect, which I adore him for!) As adults, there’s just no way we can maintain the teeny tiny weight we might have been in high school or college, and that’s okay. 🙂