Toddlers say the darnedest things. So I thought I’d share a few funny conversations with our three year old (three-and-a-half year old, to be exact), as of late.
Rolling around on her pink fluffy pillow:
Scarlett: Ohhh, this is the life.
On her little sister:
Scarlett: Emme is my best friend. When we are big girls we are going to get married.
Me: Well, baby, we don’t really marry our sisters.
Scarlett: Yes we do. We will get married in white dresses. Everyone loves that.
Sitting on our Sofa:
Scarlett: Oh, mommy, I made a mess on the couch.
Me: Why did you make a mess on the couch?
Scarlett: Because I’m a little girl.
Me: Okay baby, well let’s try not to make a mess on the couch.
Scarlett: Okay, mommy. I will not.
Scarlett: Maybe it was my BODY that made the mess.
When I was still pregnant with Emme:
My brother was in town for a wedding. Scarlett is obsessed with him and always refers to him as her “tallest best friend.” He’s 6’5, so she’s not wrong. On the first day of his visit, we picked her up at school together. She squealed the moment she laid eyes on him, “My biggest, tallest best friend!!”
My brother laughed and said, “Everyone is tall to her.” And to Scarlett, “Scarlett, is your mommy tall?”
She thought about it for a minute, scrunched her face, and said,”Mmm, no. Mommy is round.”
A few minutes later in the car, “Mommy, you’re like my favorite bouncing ball.”
I was #38weeks at the time. (And 5’2, for the record.)
On Swimming Safety:
Scarlett: Mommy, we have to wear gobbles in the swimming pool.
Me: Do you mean goggles?
Scarlett: No, Mommy. Gobbles.
Me: Doesn’t a turkey say “gobble, gobble”?
Scarlett: Yes, Mommy. (Said with her best DUH face.)
Me: And those big plastic glasses you wear in the pool; they’re goggles, right?
Scarlett: Yes, MOM. GOBBLES.
Today after picking Scarlett up from school, just before nap time:
Scarlett: My tushy is making me tired.
Me: Are you tired, baby?
Scarlett: No, I’M not tired, my tushy is tired.
A few minutes later …
Scarlett: I think my tushy is making ME tired.
Asking her not to tear up a leaf from outside:
Scarlett: Mommy, my brain was saying ‘No,’ but my fingers were saying, ‘Yes.’ … So I ripped it.
Shrugs her shoulders and runs away.
Scarlett, the tiny dictator:
Scarlett: Don’t say butt, say tush.
In the car on our drive home from school:
Scarlett: There are no shadows in the dark.
Me: That’s right baby. There’s not light to make a shadow.
Scarlett: And also, shadows don’t have shadows, Mom.
The other day Scarlett saw me painting my nails their signature black, and asked me if I would paint hers black as well:
Me: Are you absolutely sure. It’s not pink or sparkly. You really want black?
Scarlett: Yes, Mom. I want black. Pleeeease.
Not two minutes after I’ve painted all of her nails …
Scarlett: This is just awful, Mom.