Messy House = Not Ready for Baby

Although I am unbelievably type-A and have every other aspect of my life organized, I am a messy-house person.  I clean for guests, exclusively.  I used to crack jokes about being messy.  I won over roommates by being a good cook – friends were happy to pick up when I made chicken-and-dumplings and homemade salad dressing.  My husband, he’s messy too.  So we charmingly declared ourselves “two peas in a pod” and scraped together what we could for the occasional maid service (whom we could have kissed at the culmination of each visit.)  Nowadays, the hubby and I work crazy hours.  We have one car and I pick him up from public transportation that he rides from the hospital each night around 9:30pm.  I then scramble to throw dinner together because I can’t stand the idea of something frozen or served through a drive-through window.  Then we eat with our computers on our laps, sleep, and do it all over again the next day.  I’m not complaining.  I couldn’t be happier.  We all have our own stress and our own hectic schedule to juggle – I don’t ever judge whether someone is justifiably “busy” – that’s just crazy.

But here’s the thing … how do we throw a baby into the mix?  I just can’t imagine.

The fact that I’m even writing “baby” on this blog scares the pants off of me.  (Actually, I think I’ll keep my pants on, I wouldn’t want to add to the ever-growing laundry pile.)  It’s about to get personal here, people …

We’re at “the age”, whatever that means.  Friends and family stare at my womb like an oven-timer will go off, a door will swing open, and there will be baby.  We’ve been married a few years, together so much longer than that (oh yes, we met and started dating when I was sixteen), and I suppose it’s expected.  And some days I want a baby, and some days, I don’t.  But our messy house, it makes me think we’re wholly unprepared, that we can barely take care of ourselves, that we make a pittance of salaries and like travel, wine, and more travel; plus I’ve been unwell (I hate the word “sick” – so “unwell” it is!), which is incredibly time-consuming and stressful … more on that some day.  And our house is so darn messy.  When it’s just the two of us, and I’m one-foot-in a creative job (blogging, writing, etc.), we paint a picture of our zany creative world (where it’s okay that the piles are higher than the fruit basket on the kitchen counter.  But with a baby, how do I justify losing a pacifier amidst my seven craft projects – all only half-started (and for some, the start being simply buying the materials), stacks of books and magazines that I swear I’m getting to, and my camera equipment?

I envy those of you with clean shelves, fresh laundry, and a plan.  I have a plan, but it’s one of ten carefully transcribed on color-coded lists – because I’m always planning and scheming and creating – and without a clean tabletop.  I just hope that works for our someday-baby.

Image here


Lexi

20 comments


  1. lol love this post. Its the scariest thought in the world, i won’t lie. but when baby comes- omg, you wonder how you ever could have lived — messes and all. <3 xO!
    http://www.thehautecookie.com

    • Lexi

      Aww thank you! (So nervous to post it, but glad I did!)

  2. Becks

    I love this! I had exactly the same qualms; trust me. Messy house + unbridled passion for all jeans skinny and four inch heels. Well, I am now 29 weeks pregnant, and my house is still messy. (Dare I say, MESSIER, because who really has the energy to clean whilst cooking a baby in their belly oven?) Thankfully, my heels are still high, and my clothes are still fabulous. (As fabulous as they can be with elastic waistbands, that is!) There are all kinds of reasons to wait, and so many different ways to say you aren’t ready … but will you ever really be ready? I’m still not sure if I was. But let me tell you, the first time I heard that little heartbeat, I felt a love like I have never known before. the first time I felt my baby kick inside of me, it was like tickles from the inside, and all I could do was grin madly and giggle like a schoolgirl. And now that I only have a few months left, I can’t wait to see my baby boy’s face and meet him for the first time. If you don’t want kids, that’s perfectly fine; to be honest, I didn’t know if I did. But if you do, rest assured. That baby will bring about feelings you didn’t know you were capable of, and it’s not going to care if your house is a little messy. In fact, the mess will be justifiable, because next to those mountains of clothes will be bundles of diapers and piles of toys. And if you’re impressed with how you juggle things now, just think how amazing you’ll be as a mommy. <3

  3. i can totally relate to this. i was totally unprepared to have my little man. two years in and we’ve still got messes and piles and craziness but we made it work and you will too whenever that day comes!
    until then… SLEEP.
    xo
    danielle
    http://www.louwhatwear.com

    • Lexi

      Okay, I’m definitely glad to hear that! So sad about leaving behind my precious sleep!

  4. Becks

    I love this! I had exactly the same qualms; trust me. Messy house + unbridled passion for all jeans skinny and four inch heels. Well, I am now 29 weeks pregnant, and my house is still messy. (Dare I say, MESSIER, because who really has the energy to clean whilst cooking a baby in their belly oven?) Thankfully, my heels are still high, and my clothes are still fabulous. (As fabulous as they can be with elastic waistbands, that is!) There are all kinds of reasons to wait, and so many different ways to say you aren’t ready … but will you ever really be ready? I’m still not sure if I was. But let me tell you, the first time I heard that little heartbeat, I felt a love like I had never known before. The first time I felt my baby kick inside of me, it was like tickles from the inside, and all I could do was grin madly and giggle like a schoolgirl. And now that I only have a few months left, I can’t wait to see my baby boy’s face and meet him for the first time. If you don’t want kids, that’s perfectly fine; to be honest, I didn’t know if I did. But if you do, rest assured. That baby will bring about feelings you didn’t know you were capable of, and it’s not going to care if your house is a little messy. In fact, the mess will be justifiable, because next to those mountains of clothes will be bundles of diapers and piles of toys. And if you’re impressed with how you juggle things now, just think how amazing you’ll be as a mommy. <3

  5. Larve this image. Gf you will be a great mommy. Have no fear!

  6. Hahah “my family stares at my womb like it’s an oven timer”. SAME!!! Ummm are you a mind reader? My husband and I are shooting to have a baby in 2014 {meaning I’ll be preggers next year} and just thinking about it gives me mini anxiety attacks. My biggest fears are the lack of sleep { I NEED 9 hrs of sleep or I am a monster} and the lack of time I’ll have for myself. I am also a huge procrastinator and feel like I’ll just have to toss my 7 ongoing projects out the window when baby Midgett enters the picture. Ugh we will have to talk more about this!!

    xo

    • Lexi

      Oh my gosh, I am right there with you! I’m utterly terrified. Is that bad?

  7. Stefanie

    It’s a scary, wonderful thing to think about having a baby. I’m totally with you. But all the obstacles I can think of will probably just melt away or cease to matter when a baby arrives. So i try not to worry about it. But yeah, I’m with you.

    • Lexi

      Thanks, Stefanie! I think that’s the hope. 🙂

  8. Natalie

    Can SO relate to this post! My parents ask every time we see them and my mother in law is dropping not so subtle hints. Sometimes I still feel like I’m a still a kid and not at all ready — but I don’t think I’ll ever feel 100% “ready”. Loved reading this, Lexi!

    • Lexi

      Don’t you just love the “hints”? Too funny!

  9. As someone on the “other side” with a 4 year old, a full-time job and a blogging gig on the side– I don’t know how it gets done. I am type-A as well and I must say a messy house stresses me out. With a little one, the house is not as clean as I’d like it and my wonderful hubby is not a clean freak like me….but it all works out. You just jump in a do your best. Standards must be relaxed a bit, but that OK. Don’t over think it 🙂
    all the best,
    Amber Genise
    prettybluerose.com

    • Lexi

      Wow, how do you do it all? I wish one of us was the clean freak – haha, I think it’d help!

  10. alyson

    I think a majority of women are unprepared. I was never a “baby” person, a concern of mine. You find the money, if you’re a bit messy with a baby,you’re a bit messy. the baby will still be loved because you will adore it to pieces. it’s ok if you’re not baby ready, but i wouldn’t about this or let it deter you.

    • Lexi

      That’s all Mike and I hear from everyone: “You’re never really ready.” haha, we definitely aren’t!

  11. They say that there’s never a “right moment” to have kids, that if you wait for it then you just don’t have them. Mostly in the sense that you can never be 100% prepared to have kids. There’s absolutely nothing that can prepare you for motherhood, you can read 1000 books about it, but nothing can teach you, just your baby when he/she arrives. I’m a pretty organized gal, and I have learned to have a balance, for instance, I know that kids love toys, and so during the day I don’t stress about having them everywhere, because that’s what kids do, they play. But, every time we leave the house and at night time I pick them up; and this has taught my kid (without me even trying to) to help out in picking them up. Of course my house is messier now that I have a kid, but that’s ok, it’s part of it, and there are faaaar more important things in life that having a train set in the middle of the kitchen and dinosaurs all over the apartment 😉
    I’m sure you’ll be fine, don’t ask me how, but it all works out in the end, I don’t know how we do it, but we do 😉

    • Lexi

      Ahh, thank you for the advice, Gaby! Thankfully, a train in the kitchen wouldn’t stress me out, just always feel guilty about being messy – which is crazy, since it’s my house. ha

  12. I am DYING over this! Thank you for being brave enough to write what I cannot 🙂 People don’t get that you can be a perfectionist and a slob at the same time!
    Clean freaks- I envy and detest them at the same time.

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